I’m almost certain he did this at some point, but I can’t find it. Ah well, never mind..
So then, let’s get down to stating the bleeding obvious about the Apple iPad…
Where’s the kick-stand? – Tablets are unwieldy, and it’s a pain to hold it through a 2 hour movie. I suppose you could scratch the back up by resting it against something, but good luck with that rounded back.
Wot, No Flash? – According to Apple, some websites aren’t accessible through the iPad, because the browser you’re forced to use doesn’t support it. Well, clearly the iPad belongs in 1996, when that wouldn’t have been such a massive, debilitating and inexcusable deficiency. Honestly, I’m lost for words on this one. I mean, I’d be better-off with my PSP(!)
4:3 aspect ratio? – Because nothing says 21st century technology like an aspect ratio that was conceived in the era of mechanical television. I know you’d be used to huge expanses of black-border, being an iPad user, but give it a 2.35:1 anamorphic movie, and you’ll be watching this thin strip of (admittedly very nice) video across the back of a pizza box. Fantastic, eh?
Connectivity? – There isn’t any! Well, that didn’t take long.
The iPod Touch you can’t put in your pocket – And that’s really all adds it adds up to. Apparently, there will be a version available which works as a phone, so you can think of it as a comedy over-sized iPod Touch, or a comedy over-sized iPhone. Either way, it’s a joke.
No Multi-tasking – This isn’t really a biggie, because I can’t imagine many scenarios when you would practically need to, but I mention it because it does point to a very important fact, perhaps THE important fact when condemning this out-dated device. Put simply, it isn’t a computer, it’s a retarded smartphone. The world’s largest, in fact.
So then, to summarise, do we need the Apple iSlate tablet? Well the iPad is the complete answer to the question that no-one ever asked. It doesn’t offer anything new, it’s amazingly over-priced, very picky (as all Apple products are) as to what it will and won’t play ball with, stores next to nothing for a phenomenal storage premium, and has no practical use to anyone who hadn’t already bought a tablet PC 10 years ago. All 12 of them.
What’s next, the i8Track?