I’ve never had to worry too much about my father having a sense of humour or about offending him with presents, as he’s really just a big hippy at heart. So if you, like me, have a fun and easy-going papa with which to share the day then take a look at some of the stuff I’ve trawled the internet for, to make this Father’s Day a treat. If, however, you’re forever living in fear of offending or being secretly murdered in your sleep because you bought your dad a blow up doll with a conveniently located hole in the nether region one year, then it would probably be best for you to take a look at our other list of gadgets for Father’s Day 2009.
Nothing says “you’re a fat arse” like this fantastic Chocolate Pizza made from all the scrumptious chocolate you could ever desire – smooth milk chocolate slices, white chocolate star, Smarties, honeycomb balls and milk chocolate shavings all combined to make the perfect pizza! Forget the Dominos Might Meaty or the Vegetarian Supreme. Forget nachos and forget kebabs. All you need is the chocolatey goodness contained within this pizza box and you can have it for only £12.95 for the 7-incher. There’s also one that’s £17.95 for 12-inches.
Does your dad ming like there’s no tomorrow? And does he also actually quite like Anchorman? Or, perhaps you do and you’ve not had enough chuckles this year. Either way, Sex Panther is a sure-fire way to get papa smelling awesome. Mum won’t know what to do to thank you after a few squirts of this man musk. Yours for only £29.95.
There couldn’t have been a better tool designed for the modern alpha male wanting to mark his territory in his household (which happens to be run by his missus) than the BBQ Branding Iron! Just be sure to keep the kids away from him when he’s branding his chest claiming to be attacked by the Illuminati because they may be next! Marking your meat will only set you back a neat £14.95.
Almost every dad drinks his weight in beer at some point, but here’s a present that’ll add a little spice to your relationship. Pour yourselves some Scorpion Vodka and be sure to be ready to eat the little sucker sitting at the bottom of the bottle when you’re done with it. Completely edible and completely gross — unless you like that sort of thing, of course. Grab yourselves a 70ml bottle for £10.95 and a 250ml beast for £16.95.
Only power tools make daddy feel like a real man – and since mummy has consigned his to the shed, why not get him one for the kitchen? One that mummy has no way to refuse entry into the house, muhuhahaha. The Pizza Boss 3000 is the only way for dad to reclaim some manliness back in the kitchen. He’ll feel like a real Adonis flexing his man-flab in your mum’s general direction, holding and revving his tool. And, besides, you can’t lose — it simply means more pizza enters the house!
Don’t forget to grab your pappy a card too, while you’re at it. Or completely confuse him altogether and order him some flowers with a card that says, ‘Best dad in the world. Lots of love. From me’.