When people claim to have consumer electronics made specifically for women, I tend to shudder and walk hurriedly away. I have yet to come across a piece of technology that has been specifically designed to be used, and only used, by a lady (please refrain from the crude jokes about sex toys — I’m clearly not referring to these). What they tend to mean is that the item is now pink. Or is covered in glitter. Or sequins. For me, this usually makes my face scrunch up into a rather goblin-like state, whilst I mutter unpleasant things endlessly until said piece of technology is no longer within my periphery.
So, it comes as no surprise that I have chosen to make some very vital observations about a recent choice that Dell have made to cater more for the female market — with their spangly new website Della. I won’t bother going into how bad the name is, first of all, as this is clearly just helpful marketing for the Dell brand. Once on the website, the first thing you notice is the pillows. Really? Pillows? I wasn’t aware that women were that fickle. I mean, I understand that some are, but this has seriously wound me up. You can just imagine that boardroom conversation for this piece of ingenuity:
MD: “We’re making laptops for women and we need some new ideas. What things do women like?”
“Other such soft furnishings!”
Okay, so this continues for a while and they have collated their list of things. In essence, this is supposed to be funny. A quick look on the Della homepage and you can tick off nine of the ten things I have just mentioned. Mentioned in jest, please note. Everything except a child is pictured and it all starts to seem a little scary — at least from my point of view. This is the actual image that large companies have of the female species, and yet, no one else seems to mind. What is it about a product being pink makes women so susceptible to wanting it? I’m fairly sure that for a product to be used by a woman and be for a woman it has to have certain features or do things that any other laptop cannot — but I fail to find any difference. What is it that mega-rich companies think women want but can’t get out of any laptop that already exists?
Della claims that women will be able to watch their calories and their carb intake with this inspiring new machine. To be quite frank, I know more men that watch what they eat and are on special diets, than women. So, I’m rather confused as to why this feature is woman-only. They seem to also be heavily advertising the size of their new Netbook — which, in case you weren’t aware, is “perfect for your on-the-go lifestyle” and will fit into your handbag. I’m not sure if they’ve seen women’s handbags in recent times, but they are so large and contain so much junk that the owner could happily live out of it for three days; containing all the much-needed three shades of lip gloss, two pairs of shoes, four outfits, a diary of some sort, a purse, tons of make-up, a copy of Heat and/or Cosmopolitan, a few receipts, two phones… I could go on. Handbags are so enormous nowadays that I could actually live inside one, let alone out of one, which makes the need for a small laptop redundant. Also, anyone that’s actually going to use one regularly probably already knows (if not, will soon realise) how annoying the small keyboard is — and I have small fingers!
In essence, the size of the machine is irrelevant. And, so is the design. Most businessmen carry small laptops — out of a need to use one combined with always being on the move. I sincerely doubt that advertising a small laptop with a glittered pink flower logo embedded on it will make any more women buy it than Sony’s baby Vaios. The simple fact of the matter is that if women like flowers, pillows, babies and all that jazz, then that’s what they want and will go and get — hence the handbag being full of such stuff (at least I hope none of you carry). A picture of it makes no odds. And, a picture of it on a laptop makes even less sense. If the computer itself is a pile of tosh then no-one will want it.
On a website that’s marketing an electronic product, I want to see the specification as soon as humanely possible. I had to search through all the glitz to actually come across this, but three clicks and a bunch of bright colours later, I found it. The main difference between both the Dell and Della websites is quality. Whereas the Dell website is completely product-focussed, the Della website is shockingly low in substance. They have more accessories for their products than products! Phew… I don’t think I need to go on about this anymore than I already have.
Women, this is what men think of you. Do the rest of us a favour and stop being so flouncy, for the love of… children! Now, I want you to all go and use the following sentences at some point within the next week:
“I need more RAM!”
“I don’t need your power tools, I have my own.”
“Pass me a screwdriver, I think the fuse on this plug has blown.”
“Holy hell, did you just see that Kawasaki Ninja 650R go by?”
Report back to me and make me a happy camper. Thanks!
Via – Bit-Tech