Windows Is Virus-Proof: The Verdict – Part 1

You’re not going to like it…

Just as I said I would, I wanted to test out whether Windows is virus proof and this is how I’ve done it!

I’ve been putting Windows on my PCs from an OEM or VLA disc for so long, that I’ve apparently forgotten what it’s like to buy a new Windows computer from scratch. Well let me tell you now, it’s horrible! Windows has the reputation of crashing, getting infected with crap and generally screwing up without human help for one reason, and one reason alone. It’s the freakin’ OEMs.

Do you know what happens when you buy a new Windows PC?

This happens…

All right, I know this is Vista and not Windows 7, but don’t be fooled. The apps are all still running in Windows 7, you just can’t see them as easily.

Oh, and this happens:

This is a real high point. Two of the same search-boxes by default. Nice work Toshiba.

Sorry, but what the hell is going on here? What chance does any layperson stand when confronted with so much contradictory and bedazzling bullsh*t?

After I had (carefully) removed the McAfee nonsense, installed MSE and run Windows update exhaustively (it’s almost as bad as Apple are lately), only then was I presenting with what I would call a credible test bed. Make no mistake, it’s not Windows that sucks, it’s everything else that typically comes with it.

The cynics among you might think that I’m now going to excuse the vulnerabilities and inadequacies of Windows by blaming third party vendors. “Oh no, it’s not Windows, it’s the crap you run on it etc..” Well, no. Windows must be able to put up with you, your poor choices and your ignorance. I ran everything tested here on my factory-installed Vista Home Premium PC with only the AV replaced. For the record, MSE will install when you have Norton. It will just direct you to remove it first. I installed the bare minimum of security, isolated my internet connection, and…here’s what happened:

Oh my, where do I start? Well, I ask for hell unleashed and I get this nonsense…

Sorry, I was expecting maybe Conficker, not nothing. This isn’t a virus and it isn’t malware.

By the way, I personally imagine that the desk of Mr Ibrahim Ama is covered in bare circuit boards and human brains in glass jars, but hey, that’s just me…Anyway, needless to say, you provided me with very little. I thought at least Mr Birling may have made a contribution? Well, I suppose the Inspector had more pressing duties.

I really thought I might get some nasty attachments through the email, and was mostly pinning the experiment on it. Either Yahoo Mail is better at screening malware than we’re lead to believe, or nothing awful was sent. My ego prefers the former, but I’m doubtful!

Assuming that I don’t have moronic friends who will send me viruses, I thought it might be a good idea to go on the internet (with my “so nice, you see it twice” search bar), and be a right idiot.

Here we go then…

Ooo, lovely porn eh? Well actually, erm…yeah, I guess. I can’t say that it’s lovely, but it is certainly porn, not viruses. Personally, I couldn’t wait to see all those Porn Tube XXX movies I’d been missing out on, so I clicked away and was presented with:

It’s always good to have a second skill, isn’t it? Apart from the high quality flash video that resulted with clicking on the link, I can’t see a problem here, other than the usual “please provide your credit card details” rubbish. But again, that’s a scam; it’s not a technological assault. I ran a scan just to be sure though…

Yep, thought so. No infection yet…

Clearly, idiots in one’s address book and excessive horniness isn’t going to do it. In part two of our experiment, we’ll try to do some real damage – Fix my slow PC you say? Please do!

Torrents and P2P are clearly beckoning. Of course, as I said at the start, you’re not going to like it…

Related Pages:

1. Windows Is Virus-Proof! (TBC)
2. Microsoft Security Essentials – The Best Free Anti-Virus / Anti-Spyware Software?
3. Microsoft Releases Windows 7 Downgrade Plans
4. Windows Essentials: How To Backup – Part 1
5. Windows 7 Beta Released

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